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MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

1. What is Marriage Counselling

 

Conflicts and differing expectations in a marriage can lead to marital tension. Most couples seek marriage counselling in Singapore when they believe their relationship has reached a point where both parties feel they cannot continue living together, especially when problems such as in-laws, financial difficulties, infidelity, or abuse are present.

 

Marriage counselling can support couples in strengthening their marriage by working through problems and conflicts, as well as discovering internal resources and strengths that could strengthenenrich the relationship. 

 

2. Types Of Marriage Counselling

 

Marriage counselling can be approached in a number of ways. It’s important to understand and evaluate both couples as individuals as well as the relationship dynamics at play and any external factors that may be contributing to their issues. This initial evaluation will then guide decision making on which therapy types are best suited to help a couple with their problems.

Gottman Method Couple Therapy
The Gottman Method Couple Therapy is backed by 40 years of psychological research looking into what makes marriage work. The goals of the Gottman Method include increasing closeness and friendship behaviours, addressing conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to uncover the issues behind attachment and bonding in a relationship and improve them. It works by identifying negative interaction patterns and reframing issues that may be impacting the relationship.

 

Behavioural Couple Therapy

Behavioural Couple Therapy is based on the idea that certain actions don’t happen in isolation and can be shaped or influenced. By positively reinforcing positive behaviours that foster stronger more stable relationships, and discouraging behaviours that negatively impact the relationship, couples can find progress in their connections with one another.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), is another form of psychotherapy that can help married couples having problems in their relationships. CBT involves identifying problematic or detrimental thought patterns that translate into unwanted behaviour, and taking appropriate steps to solve them. When used alongside communication or assertiveness training, it can set married couples on the right path towards stabilising their relationship.

 

3. How Marriage Counselling Works

 

Therapists often approach marriage counselling by borrowing from across a range of psychotherapy disciplines. After an initial psychological assessment, a therapist can decide how best to help a couple having problems and what methods would be the most effective.

 

Identifying Feelings

Unresolved or unaddressed feelings might be at the heart of many relationship troubles and therapists help couples identify how they are feeling towards each other and put it into words. Once identified, they can then begin the work of resolving these feelings and healing the relationship.

 

Exploring The Past

Conflicts that have their roots in a partner’s history can lead to dysfunctional relationships later on. Marriage counselling can involve exploring the past to pin down fears, insecurities, motivation, and behaviours that are causing problems in the present.

 

Focusing On Solutions

Solution-based counselling can help put the focus on what the couples want to achieve and the steps that need to be taken to get there. By resolving issues, correcting behavioural patterns, and sharing positive aspects of the relationship, couples can find common ground in wanting to improve their relationship.

 

Skills and Techniques

Therapy can also be useful to help teach couples communication techniques that can help with anger management, conflict resolution, and problem solving. When the right tools have been learnt, couples can be proactive in finding solutions for their issues as they surface.

 

4. What Marriage Counselling Can Help With

 

Marriage counselling presents couples with an opportunity to discuss and air out their concerns in the presence of a trained therapist who takes on the role of a neutral, non-judgemental arbiter.

 

Relationship Roles

Therapy can explore relationship roles and identify unhealthy dynamics that can cause problems or hinder successful resolution. Differences in expectation between partners can also be a source of distress. By vocalising them during psychotherapy sessions, work can be done to address such issues.

 

Finances

Money is a major source of conflict in many relationships. Whether it’s about income expectations or spending habits, poor financial planning and lack of discussion over them can have severe consequences. Marriage counselling provides an open forum for couples to dialogue and resolve any financial issues or insecurities they may be having.

 

Children

For many couples, having children puts immense strain on their relationship. Expectations and dynamics would have changed when a baby arrives in the family. Marriage counselling allows communication between couples about any concerns they may have over raising children and addresses them. Conversations around parenting styles and values are critical in bringing the couple to be an united team in parenting their children.

 

Health Issues

Physical or mental health issues that lead to problems with married couples can also be helped through marriage counselling. Such problems can be tough on both partner and caregiver in the relationship and attending counselling sessions can help work through the issues together.

 

5. Benefits Of Marriage Counselling

 

Behind the troubles that may plague their relationship, many couples may have genuine affection and love for each other. By willing to work together to identify and resolve the problems they are facing, couples may find that their relationship has grown stronger as a result. 

 

Reduced distress, increased satisfaction, more security and spontaneity are just some of the benefits that can be gleaned from attending psychological counselling sessions and putting in the work to fix their relationship problems.

Better Understanding

Successful marriage counselling in Singapore typically involves the couple coming to a better understanding of each other and the roles that they play in a relationship. By fixing unhealthy patterns or relationship dynamics, common ground can be established which can result in greater stability and happiness.

 

Improved Communication Skills

Going to therapy can help partners express their feelings, hopes, fears, and desires to each other. Techniques to improve communication are also taught and can be practised both during sessions and afterwards to aid in conflict resolution and building stronger bonds.

 

Strengthen Friendships And Attachment

Just because a couple attends marriage counselling, doesn’t mean they don’t love or have affection for each other. Marriage counselling can help them work through their issues to rediscover and build on the love, bonding, and intimacy in a relationship.

 

Better Relationship Satisfaction

The final goal of marriage counselling is to increase the overall satisfaction both parties feel in a relationship. Quality of life and happiness are also both enhanced as a result as couples might find that the stability and support received from their partners positively impacts other aspects of their life.